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Reblog!
I’ve written a great many words about the death penalty over the past week (here and here) and many people have seen fit to read them, to think about them, to share them widely across the internet, and to discuss them with me. For this I have been extremely grateful.
I think it’s safe to assume that not a single one of the people who attended the GOP debate last night read any of those words. That’s not surprising; I’m an academic blogger with a fairly narrow readership. Of course, the debate audience likely also didn’t read this excellent and unsettling piece about Cameron Todd Willingham. And they haven’t read anything about Troy Davis. They certainly don’t know the names of any of the people who have been released from death row after evidence of their innocence came to light. In fact, they probably don’t know that any such people exist.
I would happily wager that they haven’t read much of anything about the death penalty they so vigorously applauded. Their support for it is, in the words of Sister Helen Prejean, “a mile wide and an inch deep.” They do it reflexively, without a care in the world. They hear “justice” and, like Pavlov’s dogs, they salivate. But they haven’t spent any time considering what “justice” means; the only context in which they seem to understand it is when it is used as a synonym for vengeance.
This is the justice that is done to someone else. Never to them, never to anyone they care about or have even met. That situation is one they cannot even imagine; their privileged position affords them the opportunity to sit in judgment of another person without even considered what life must be like for someone who ends up on death row or for someone who cares about a death row inmate. Indeed, for a great many, their position is so privileged that they do not even recognize that privilege exists.
This is what underlies the applause and this what underlies Rick Perry’s absolute certainty that not a single one of the people on death row in Texas might be innocent of the crime for which he has been condemned. And this is what separates me from the applauding audience members and from someone like Rick Perry; I know what death row looks like, I’ve talked with condemned men, and because of my interaction with the death penalty in this country I’ve been given a good look at the privileged life I lead.
There is nothing to applaud when people die. There is nothing to applaud when people fail to examine their own lives and the good fortune they have had. There is nothing to applaud when our leaders do not understand the difference between justice and vengeance. There is nothing to applaud when people believe that the only thing our government can do properly is inject some citizens full of poison.
The deaths that this audience applauded are the deaths of human beings, more than 200 human beings. No matter what they did — and I don’t pretend that they were all innocent, kind, or virtuous — they were human beings. Their deaths ought not to be cheered like we would cheer at some sporting event. Their deaths did not make us safer and they certainly did not make us better. What that audience applauded was its own smug self-satisfaction, its distinct pleasure at not knowing or caring or empathizing.
By the time you read this, you’ll likely know that the progressives are already making jokes about Rick Perry and about the blood-thirsty audience. I began to see them on Twitter less than an hour after the debate’s conclusion. But there isn’t anything funny about what happened. It signals, in fact, how deeply divided we are in this country: this crowd believes that Americans fall into two camps, but it isn’t the divide that Republicans politicians have been suggesting between the “real” Americans who love freedom and family values, on the one hand, and some other “fake” Americans who hate those things, on the other. This spontaneous applause demonstrates the divide as it actually us: between those with whom these supposed “real” Americans can identify and those with whom they cannot. In the former camp are the Americans whose life experience is similar to the life experience of these audience members; they are similar in appearance, they grew up in similar circumstances, they face similar daily challenges. In the latter camp is everyone else, those who don’t look like “real” Americans, whose names don’t sound like “real” American names, whose religion is not the dominant one, whose life experiences do not bear even a remote resemblance to the experiences of the “real” Americans in that audience. And because the “real” Americans cannot recognize how privileged are the lives they lead, how well-off they are in so many ways, they cannot empathize in any way with those other Americans; indeed, far from attempting to care about their plight, they do not even consider those other Americans. They are not objects of care or respect and thus, when some of them commit terrible crimes and are executed, these “real” Americans cheer those executions because they are not “real” deaths. They are, instead, better likened to the way we destroy the dangerous dogs that snap at our children. We are so deeply divided in this country that one group cannot even recognize that the deaths they are applauding are the deaths of human beings like themselves, who once had hopes and dreams, plans for the future, and families who loved them. No one should be surprised, then, that these “real” Americans don’t want to be taxed to provide much-needed basic services for others or that they refer to people, not actions, as “illegal.”
The two minutes shown in the video clip above are, for me, absolutely heart-breaking; those two minutes speak volumes about the state of affairs in this country. This crowd, the one that broke out into spontaneous, extended applause at the mention of the death of more than two hundred people, is the pro-life crowd. They profess a deep and abiding belief in Christianity and blithely ignore the messages of forgiveness and mercy at the very heart of their religion. They are fiscally conservative and cheer for a shockingly expensive, unnecessary government expenditure. They have a fundamental distrust of the government and can’t wait to vote for someone who believes that the government — with all of its many, many flaws — ought to be in the business of deciding life and death.
This is either a stunning display of dishonesty or of stupidity. Either way, it is all terrifying and profoundly sad. It actually makes me feel that this is a group of people as disconnected from me and my experiences as they are from those whose deaths they applauded. The difference is that, if they think about this at all, it pleases them. I am unsure how we bridge that divide, but I am absolutely convinced that such a deep division on the very nature of our relationship to one another ought to be considered a crisis by anyone who cares about the future of this country.
(via mindbabies)
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(via mindbabies)
“Everyone is insecure. That’s why we like to be reassured of things. Maybe this is why we like to tell each other these corny, cheesy ass lines that get our hearts beating faster. This is why we spoil each other. We’re filling all these voids just to make sure it’s always known that “Hey, I am yours, and you are mine”.. and the fact that no one else matters.”
What if I’m not one that can reassure a person?
It’s funny that you dont actually believe a word of that.
(via loud-out-thinking)
ever since i was born i was always treated differently and pushed aside by my sister so she could get everything she wants. when you’re young, being the baby of the family is supposed to be a good thing right? you’d think the baby would get the most affection, and most understanding and support but no. i was tortured as a child by my older sister Jo because she always had to be that center of attention. she scarred my face for half my life when she threw me off my bed as a baby. she used to force me to do things for her or she would destroy my most sentimental things like a stuffed animal i was given by my grandpa when i was born. as i started to get older it seemed like the torture would never end as i was constantly yelled at for stupid reasons. my sister would rat me on for whatever reason whether its just a rumor she heard or if i stayed out late it didn’t matter i was always getting fucked over somehow by her. she was the perfect daughter or something. she never got in trouble, and she still doesn’t. the years and years of spoiling her have made her the most disgusting person on the inside and not a single person understands. i tried my very hardest to be the nice daughter and do things without being told like cleaning or even buying my mom flowers because i knew it made her happy. i tried so hard at art to have something to be proud of but it was never enough. I’m the youngest of 5, so whatever i did i was always being compared to someone else. I’m nothing more to my family but a failure that’s going nowhere in life. they think I’m lazy and have no priorities and I’m an alcoholic and a slut. I’m scared to be home now. i hate coming home when i know my family is here because all they do is interrogate me and make me feel like shit about everything i do. even if i work every single day, I’m considered lazy. even if I’m out I’m not partying I’m just chilling, but now I’m an alcoholic. i date around for a couple months, and I’m promiscuous. i can never make them proud. even if i went to school and got everything done i still don’t think they would think anything more of me.
but thats not even the worst part.
what has to be the worst about being considered the fuck up in the family is that I’m constantly ignored. nobody ever listens to what i have to say otherwise I’m considered rude or whiny. when i told my mother that i feel neglected by her, that i felt like she plays favorites with my sister just because she goes to UCLA, and that she doesn’t love me as much as her, she told me “sounds like your problem”. I’ve been depressed, so sad that my chest hurts, and my parents still wont listen to me. ill never be good enough for them. I’ve learned to lock away my feelings from them…. well, they don’t want to hear it anyways. I’m so tired of being alone and crying from time to time. i feel so worthless, like i have nothing to offer the world. i don’t have anyone. i maybe have one person in my life that i could truly rely i and i never see her anymore. i don’t trust my family to help me in serious emotional times of need. i don’t expect to keep in contact with them when i move away from this place. i wont help my sister in the future if she needs it, nor would i expect her to in a million years. i think the worst part of this whole thing is this feeling i cant shake. all the shit I’ve been through, with friends over dosing from drugs, to losing friends to drugs, deaths, being on alcohol, Ecstasy, and LSD binges myself, I’ve never felt beautiful. I’ve never had a moment of true happiness within myself to say i love me. i hate me. i feel so uninteresting, so unattractive, so worthless. i feel like even if i died today i wouldn’t be missed. I’ve been depressed my entire life and I’ve tried my hardest to fix it but it just wont go away. i hate me. i have nothing that makes me happy in my life. i hate being home, my friends are never around, i don’t have anyone. men nowadays just want to sleep with me and as that is nice its not enough. as soon as something good comes along i try and try to milk it for everything its worth because i know when its all over I’m just going to be back in this place. ill have nothing, and nobody, like always.
Reblog!
I hate crying over someone I’m just so painfully mad at. Someone that tossed me aside who had barely gotten to know me yet. I hate the way you’ve treated me and the things you’ve said to me. I hate that you refused to claim me as yours and I hated how you ignored me. I hate that you act high and mighty like we’re so different when I’m doing more with my life than you and have more solid goals than you. I hate that you don’t like me anymore because I don’t party all the time but all you do is sleep all day and rarely work. I hate that you’ve claimed yourself the daddy figure of your friends; the one that takes care of everyone when you don’t even take care of yourself or have any knowledge of how to treat a lady. I hate how I’d always want to see you but never felt like you felt the same. So why do I miss you? I honestly don’t know.
Reblog!
(Source: dennyle)
why would someone spend hours telling you that they dont want something more committed, that you both have nothing in common, that “it makes no difference whether youre here with me or not” or that “we’re in different points in our life” and then ask you to stay over at their house and be affectionate and cuddlyand then the next day act like youve never met but can’t answer why they even wanted you over last night when they dont want to “come off as something more”?why cant people just go with the flow and enjoy the time they have with the people they’re with. nothing is so uncertain as a relationship. if two people have a good time together, why not enjoy it while it lasts? why make things so goddamn complicated and stressful. just choose one person you enjoy being with and stick with them until you get bored.
if its made known that nothing serious is going to happen, but someone still wants to be cuddly and affectionate with you, whats the point in continuing? as nice as it is to just enjoy someone’s company, it should never be known whats going to happen in the future.someone could say i don’t want a serious commitment now, but then regret they said anything at all. people change, and feelings change.
you might want to be alone now; enjoy nothing more than time to yourself, but eventually you’ll get lonely. you’ll be so sad to know that one person that would go out of their way to see you, that would lay in bed for hours just watching some stupid t.v. show with you and asked nothing in return but acknowledgment was brushed off when you just wanted to be alone one day.its things like that that make people picky. its like… people are so unappreciative of the simple things in life that fall right into their lap that when they just let it go like its nothing, they find its nearly impossible to find the same thing in anyone else. try remembering that one amazing thing you loved about a person. something that you found unique and special about that person, and realize that you would die for that same characteristic . try doing that one particular thing you did with another person with everyone else you ever date in the future. the experience will be different every time, guaranteed, and you’ll realize that one puzzle piece will always be missing in every other person you ever meet.
its idiocy.
i mean i cant know what exactly people think about me. i cant imagine im hard to replace but there are always going to be things about me that no one else can know or be. i am my own person, one of a kind, and there will never be another person that has every bit and piece of my fucked up personality, likes, dislikes, and experiences. people should never be taken to granted.
Reblog!
youre so unappreciative of anything good that comes your way that you fuck it all up out of sheer instinct whether it be with your family, your friends, your education, or with me. fuck you. your ultimate accomplishment in life will be the day you die alone, exactly what you’ve always wanted.
Reblog!
I honestly dont know why im so sad. why is it that someone you’ve barely known could have made such an impact? nothing really changed. nothing significant in my life was changed by hangingout with someone new for a couple months… i guess i was just happier, or distracted from whats happening in my life. Maybe i needed someone to help convince myself that i shouldnt be worried, or that things are as bad as i think they are. or that maybe i dont have a reason to be sad, or stressed, or scared to be home or to be around my family… or maybe im just dumb. perhaps im just easily influenced or manipulated into thinking i mean more to a person than i really do. i feel so worthless now; like i have nothing to offer and that i just wasted my time thinking i was appreciated and was good company. i get invited to go out with people i hardly know all the time; to just party and hangout like id be the missing piece to a good time.. but i really dont think i am. i feel…….. unattractive. i dont know whats wrong with me? i do what i want and what i want is you. i guess thats too much to ask.
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